By Shelley Abrams
I recently attended the Shaklee Global Conference in Atlanta, Georgia. The theme for the event was “Breakthrough”. There were breakthrough new products that were announced. And training to help breakthrough to the next level, whatever that was for each individual. And breakthrough tools to help get there. But the highlight was learning how and getting to break through a piece of board with just one karate chop of my right hand!
Let me explain.
The keynote speaker on the last day of the Conference was Brian Biro. He was highly motivational and uplifting. His talk was about how no one is an overachiever as everyone can strive to do better. He told us it was all about mindset and what you focus on; that you should always focus just beyond the goal and not the goal itself or the obstacle(s) in the way. And he told us that anyone can break through the obstacles that are holding them back. To illustrate his point, he said that all 4,000 of us in attendance would get an opportunity to “break through” a board with a karate chop and that it would feel like we were just pushing our hands through paper. Hah, I and so many others I’m sure, thought! I figured a handful of us would be selected to demonstrate and that would be that. Well… I was so wrong!
We all went into another room where about 350 volunteer attendees had been trained the day before on “holding the board” and what to do. Everyone was asked to get in groups of 10, and some went up on the stage to do it with Brian. We were instructed to put an “X” in the center of our board on one side, then write across that “X’ a word that represented some habit or obstacle we wanted to “break through”. I wrote the word “complacency” on mine. On the flip side we were asked to write down words that represented what would happen to us if we broke through that obstacle; some of my words were “success”, “freedom”, “satisfaction”, “growth”, and more. And finally, we were asked to write a dedication to someone who we were grateful for in our lives who supports us in reaching our goals. I dedicated mine to my husband, Steve (he wasn’t there).
He then explained how we were going to break the board, first by demonstrating the stance we needed to take along with the hand position and the movement of the body. And most importantly he told us where to direct our eyes – our attention! Our eyes, he said, should always be focused on or just above the eyes of the person holding the board. In other words, we needed to focus on what was just beyond the goal (the eyes), not on the goal or the object/obstacle itself (the board). It was also important, he said, that everyone make as much as noise as possible in support of the person taking their turn, by clapping and saying their name repeatedly! By doing this, we all were supporting everyone else in the pursuit and achievement of their goal!
The Karate Chop!
Brian then demonstrated with one person who broke through the board on her first try. In my group, there were 9 women and 1 guy. Each person was given 3 tries and then had to step aside; they could try again after everyone had their turn. The first 4 people did not break their boards on the first round (they all did later), but when the first person did we all went nuts, with tears freely flowing. I was 8th and I got into the position and remembered what he said – focus on the eyes of the person holding the board – the goal, and not the board – the obstacle. I did and broke the board on the first try! I jumped up and down and tears filled my eyes. It was unbelievably satisfying. And I didn’t even feel the board; it was as if I was moving my hand through air!
Here are two pics of me – the first in mid-motion of breaking my board, and my broken board.
As I reflected on that experience and asked myself why I and others were able to break our boards on the first try while others did not, I realized that I saw a pattern. Each of the individuals in our group who did not break their board, even after the first 3 (or more) attempts, seemed very intensely focused on breaking their board. They looked directly at the board as they got in position, they aimed for the board intently and missed every time, or even hit it wrong with their hand – which hurt I was told! In other words, they were so intent on knocking out their board – their obstacle to the breakthrough they desired – that they couldn’t do it! They were too focused on the obstacle as well as the goal. They really wanted to breakthrough that word on their board, whatever they chose, and it showed in their stance and in their furrowed (or even sometimes angry-appearing) brows and gritted teeth.
But that was not what we were told to do! We were supposed to be looking beyond the obstacle for the breakthrough! Look beyond the goal to reach it. I barely remember going through the motion. I just remember handing my board to the board holder, seeing my word – complacency – and then going through the motion to break it with a karate chop all the while looking just above the eyes of the person holding the board. There seemed to be no one even holding the board when I broke it, it just seemed so light. I knew I broke it only because I heard it, but I didn’t feel it! And once I knew I had gotten my goal – breaking the board – I felt amazingly satisfied and overjoyed! And so did everyone around me. They were happy that I got my goal, even if they didn’t make theirs (at that moment anyway). But it also showed them that anyone can get their goal if they take the right actions, look beyond it and get the support and encouragement they need!
What else did I take away from that experience?
“I realized that my obstacle all along has not been procrastination or fear of success – those were merely byproducts of the true culprit. It was complacency!”
I learned what my block has been. For a long time, I thought my block or obstacle to being the professional writer and author I know I am and want to be, to building a Shaklee business, and to being overall successful as my own business owner, was procrastination! Procrastination is something I’ve always struggled with, even as I worked hard and was successful working for someone else. But I’ve struggled to be my own boss, not taking actions that I know I need to take to make myself known and to become successful. I also thought that perhaps it was a fear of success! But in contemplating what habit I wanted to “break through” in the karate chop exercise, to free myself of, I realized that my obstacle all along has not been procrastination or fear of success – those were merely byproducts of the true culprit. It was complacency!
Now complacency can take several forms, and for me it did and still does to some extent. Procrastination was one form it took by doing things I needed to do later rather than sooner. But complacency for me also meant not taking action instead of taking action, sometimes just because it was easier not to. Some might even call it just being lazy or unmotivated to do anything more than what I was already doing, hoping things would take care of themselves (it was deeper than that, but I will keep it at that for now). It also meant being happy with the status quo instead of upsetting it or moving beyond it, because it was easier and perhaps “safer”. And it meant being my own worst enemy in seeming to lack motivation even though I have always thought of myself as a go-getter; the lack of motivation was just the desire to play it safe and just let things play themselves out, feeling it would always turn out to be best even if in hindsight, instead of doing what it takes to make things play out the way I wanted them to! The way I chose!
In other words, we are the directors of our lives, and the paths we go down are of our own choosing. Sometimes there are obstacles in the way, which is just called life. And we can take those obstacles, acknowledge them, set goals to overcome them and then look beyond those goals to achieve them and make our lives what we want. Or we can be complacent to just let “nature take its course”, and let our life direct us instead of the other way around. Many, if not all spiritual teachers, tell us that we are, we become and we have what we choose to focus on. By being complacent, I was choosing to stay focused on what was and not what could be!
What I chose to breakthrough in this exercise, and in my life, is complacency. I can no longer afford to waste my time, and my future, just letting things “be” and hope it works out for the best. I need to grab the bull by the horn, take charge and make my life what I want it to be! I’ve never really been one to set goals, but I know that needs to change too – whether it be personal or professional goals.
Now I know I will slip into old patterns from time to time, but that is just part of the process. I will from this point forward be focused on “just beyond the goal” (Breaking through Complacency) and take the little or big steps I need to take to get me there!